Thursday, November 30, 2017

I'm breaking up with Soyatoo!; Trader Joe's new vegan whipped cream is far superior

Soyatoo!, we've had some good times. Back when you were the only game in town, I was satisfied to wait a half hour for you to "defrost" from the fridge- despite the fact that your can claims that you only need to take it out 8-10 minutes in advance for it to be "ready to serve." Never mind that non-vegan whipped cream is ready at a moment's notice; we vegans are used to accommodating weird inefficiencies. I was even long-accustomed to throwing out what were probably half-full cans of Soyatoo!- simply because I couldn't, for the life of me, get it to come out even when I could feel that there was still cream left in the can. That problem just got chalked up to the vegan tax- paying twice as much money for half as much product. I was willing to accept all of this in order to fill the whipped cream-shaped hole in my life in any way I could. But, no longer.


Veganism has come so far into the mainstream that I am able to be discerning in my quest for vegan whipped cream. Don't think I made this decision to ditch Soyatoo for Trader Joe's new coconut whipped topping lightly. I did what any responsible, whipped cream-loving vegan would do: I conducted a proper taste-test.

First, I had to wait the requisite eons letting my Soyatoo! warm up from the fridge. In case you're wondering, leaving the can in the sunniest spot in the house is the whipped cream equivalent of pressing tofu with a stack of cookbooks and cans. I know I'm not alone in getting creative with this.


Anyone familiar with Soyatoo! knows that it can come out of the can relatively slowly (i.e. snail's pace)- even when full, and appear kind of, well, slug-like. To be fair, I made sure to squeeze out a pretty, Soyatoo! floret to visually compare with the creamy dollop of TJ's whipped cream that burst airily from the can DIRECTLY FROM THE FRIDGE. If it sounds like I'm bitter, it's because I am. Is it too much to have vegan whipped cream and be able to enjoy it on a whim? Must I plan a half hour ahead of time? And, as VM pointed out: imagine passing the sputtering can around the table at a large dinner party? It would be laughable.


Admittedly, I'd never had an issue with Soyatoo!'s color, taste, or consistency until I compared it to TJs.
  • TJ's is white; Soyatoo! is ecru- far less appetizing from a visual standpoint. 
  • TJ's is sweet and coconutty; Soyatoo! is far less sweet and bland in comparison.
  • TJ's is light & fluffy; Soyatoo! is creamy, but oddly thick in comparison.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, TJ's comes right out of the can as soon as you want it to.

I estimate that it took me .0002 seconds to generously spritz TJ's on the left pie slice. I had to work for the plop of Soyatoo! on the right pie slice for about 4 minutes*: three sputtering tries and two unsuccessful attempts included. *This after the 30 minutes of defrost...


All of this to say: it's over, Soyatoo!; I am never, ever, ever getting back together with you and your stupid "!," which- by the way, is an indication of SO SLOW!!

If you need me, I'll be stocking up on TJ's. One for home, one for VM's, one for the car, and one for my purse. Two extras just to be on the safe side.

UPDATE: before I even had the chance to post this, I stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up a bushel more cans of whip. To my dismay, I was met with this sign.



The cashier kindly told me that there would be a delivery the next day and that I could call in the morning to ask if they'd hold a can or two for me. In order to "hold" a case, I'd have to place an order in advance. What? You didn't think I'd ask?

Anyway, because I am awfully impatient, I chose to drive to the next closest TJ's in the meantime. Not only were they out as well, but there was not even a sign there. So, I panicked and inquired at customer service. To my surprise, they told me the product is "on hold" as they deal with a "quality issue." "QUALITY ISSUE?," I demanded, "It's practically the world's perfect food!" One of the nearby staff members instantly agreed with me: nodding his head and recommending it on pina coladas (genius). I was assured that the issue was with the packaging, but the whole thing sounds suspect to me. I wanted to blame someone. The USDA, the National Dairy Council...BIG AG? So, this morning I called the original location to request a hold. Sadly, the gentleman I spoke to told me the cashier had been mistaken and went on to reiterate the 2nd location's explanation about the quality issue. He confirmed that it is a problem with the packaging. Apparently they identified an issue with getting the whip to dispense, AND THEY ARE ADDRESSING IT. Imagine that, Soyatoo! Oh, the irony.

I'll keep you posted on the progress of my quest over on Instagram; in the meantime, think positive thoughts on the matter. I meant what I said about Soyatoo!; our breakup was final. Now that I know how good it can be, I'll wait for TJs to make a comeback.

UPDATE 12/5/17: I went back to TJ's yesterday (I'm nothing if not persistent) and customer service told me the issue is that the can originally stated erroneously that the item was a product of Canada, instead of Indonesia. The person I spoke with said this is an "easy fix" but that it "could take some time." In the meantime, I went to Whole Foods to snag their vegan whipped cream (that I just learned about from Jesse) and there wasn't even a spot on the shelf for it. Is there a vegan whipped cream conspiracy going on? Now I just blame Soyatoo! !

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Thanksgiving/Thanksliving Recap

Non-vegans always ask me what vegans eat for Thanksgiving. My answer? SO, SO MUCH!

 

First let me give a shout-out to the best-dressed pooch at the holiday dinner: 89, who now has her own insta!! She's wearing a silver hoodie from Dog & Co, adorned with a Compassion Co. pin (gifted from Gone Pie) that says, "Give thanks for all life."

 

Since my family has the veganized Thanksgiving meal down to a science, I'll give you the complete breakdown for your records. But, first: let me note one important factoid... moments before we were about to sit down to dinner, I found this in my parents' kitchen cabinet.


Looks weird, right? A little too tropical for a fall holiday? Well, how about full of vegan, cruelty-free, Thanksgiving goodness?

 

I know; it's hard to believe you ever ate your Thanksgiving meal any other way. It's THE perfect plate- even if it could have used one extra compartment. 

So, let's break it down, shall we? In no particular order:

PPK chickpea cutlets- I know it's not called Post-Punk Kitchen anymore, but that's what it says on my printout from eons ago, and that's what it's gonna stay to me. I miss VM's breaded chicken cutlets with applesauce and this is a superior substitute! Make no mistake; you definitely want to use the double batch recipe (I've actually been known to quadruple batch). The double batch makes 8 and they're never as large as Isa recommends stretching them to. You'll want one every day you're eating those leftovers, with a few left over to eat in sammies.

 

VM's sweet corn stuffing: my mom has been using this recipe forever; she sometimes makes them as stuffing "balls" in cupcake trays and asks guests if they want gravy on their balls. That embarrassing anecdote notwithstanding, it's the best stuffing I've ever had and don't try to tell me otherwise.

 

VM's horseradish mashed potatoes: So, VM is one of those Italian cooks that doesn't read recipes or ever write anything down. She can't explain how to make 99.9% of her amazing dishes, but it's easier if she makes it for me anyway, so I ain't mad. I've watched her mash these suckers and eyeball the butter, almond milk, and horseradish proportions. I couldn't replicate it, but hers comes out amazing every time.

 

Isa's green bean casserole: I don't know when the green bean casserole was invented, but I do know that I can't quit it. If you've never had it, YOU ARE MISSING OUT! I am not in the habit of tweaking recipes, but I've made this so often that I've had the chance to perfect it to the tastebuds of my audience & that means the following:
  • Use two pounds of fresh green beans instead of one, so there's proportionately more beans to liquid. Cut them in half at the onset, but don't bother boiling them if you don't mind them slightly al dente (and also want to skip having to wait for water to boil & then having to wash a pot and strainer).
  • Use cream of leek soup instead of mushroom; this way it's not as shroomy.
  • Use double the fried onions: double the mix in, double the topping. I use Trader Joe's brand because the ingredients are not icky.
  • I use water instead of broth and no bouillon because I never have any.
 

Chloe Coscarelli's Brussel's sprouts: You might not think you need a recipe to roast Brussel Sprouts, but you'd be wrong. We sub chestnuts for hazelnuts and use swanky maple syrup, but neither are deal-breakers. Okay, deep breath. I'm not going to lie to you. VM burned the sprouts. Worse, she burned them last year as well. They were so glorious and then she forgot about them like they're not the most important part of the meal. It was a heartbreak (X2).

Also, creamed corn for color (per VM).


Baked sweet potatoes with marshmallows & cinnamon: This one isn't really tough to figure out. VM picks the long, skinny sweet potatoes because we like them like that (and, they also fit in the chopstick section of my tray that way). When they're hot, I stuff 'em with vegan marshies: minis are better, but I had these giant ones left from the summer when we never got around to making s'mores at a pool party. Sprinkle with cinnamon & voila! Note about the marshie's: I've been buying the Trader Joe's ones and they're pretty fab and extremely reasonably priced.


And, in case you were wondering, 89 got her own plate of goodness as well:


I am totally embarrassed to report that we had no room in our tummies to consume dessert on Thanksgiving night. So, we reconvened the next day for a repeat performance of dinner with leftovers:

it's appropriate to come to leftover dinner in your PJs

And we all saved plenty of room for this smorgasboard of Vegan Treats.

 

Dessert breakdown: VM & OD couldn't remember what this one was (they made the trip and chose everything), but I thought it was a pumpkin streusel donut with pumpkin Dandies, which 89 promptly ate. Top right: chocolate pecan pie, which was really delicious and FULL of pecans. Bottom left: traditional pecan pie, which for some reason I liked even better than the chocolate version. Bottom right: apple crumble pie, which I tasted to be polite and reminded myself that apples are only appropriate in sauce. Also cannolis and chocolate-covered cannolis. We'd also shared a pecan bun that morning. And I'd eaten VT pumpkin cheesecake softserve the night before. But. that's it (there may have also been cowboy cookies and jelly donuts).



89 got dessert as well, in the form of a pumpkin pie toy from Barkbox. This was her really excited about it.


And then this was her when she realized it wasn't really edible (but damn if those Barkbox toys aren't sturdy; it's still 100% intact).


Lest I forget to mention... per usual, we watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on TV. This was my fave balloon this year: Grinch and Max!

 

One more autumnal snack to brag about before the next post, which is going to be about something else FAB-U-LOUS I ate on Thanksgiving!

This Parker's maple cotton candy is maybe the best cotton candy I've ever had- especially since I already love both cotton candy AND maple syrup. I got mine at Orchard Grocer! and they still have some left as of this weekend (you're welcome). I can't promise anything after I go again to refill my supply...


Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one and that you're ready for the holiday onslaught! In the meantime, 89 is waiting for more leftovers...