Sip Milkshake Cart

I've been putting off writing this review because the experience was so bizarre that I wasn't sure I'd be able to make sense of it.  I'll try.

As with almost everything I did in Portland, Sip, a vegan milkshake/smoothie/juice cart parked outside of a neighborhood co-op, was reviewed beforehand on blogposts and reviews; I knew I would visit and I knew I wanted a custom chocolate/peanut butter/oreo milkshake.  I actually went way out of my way to get it: taking a cab to another (unscheduled) stop nearby and then walking an additional six blocks.

I anxiously approached the silver shack on wheels and asked if my custom concoction was a possibility and the girl said yes.  I noticed on the menu that their regular milkshakes were typically made with soy ice cream, but for an additional $1.50 you could substitute Coconut Bliss.  Since I hadn't yet tried Coconut Bliss ice cream, I asked the Sip girl if she would recommend the upgrade.  She looked at me like I had twelve heads, shrugged, and said something along the lines of, "It's up to you".  Okaaaaay.  So, I finalized my order and was told it would be about fifteen minutes because there were "other drinks ahead of me".  This seemed odd for two reasons.  1) She hadn't been making anything when I arrived and 2) In the ten minutes or so that had elapsed from the time the cart was in view upon my approach, through my curiosity-driven perusal of the menu, through the chat about and ultimate placement of my order, not one other soul had come within 3 feet of the cart.  Non-plussed, I gave her a shrug back and decided to check out the co-op. 

The People's Co-op was surprisingly big and packed with goodies; it took quite a while to look through the whole store.  I actually stuck my head out a few times to see if my milkshake order was up, but it wasn't.  After 20 minutes of shopping I was done and went back outside because I was ready for my milkshake.  But, my milkshake was not ready for me.

I walked over so that I was in plain view of the Sip girl.  At this point there were a few customers hanging around the cart waiting for their orders and she was busy cutting fruits and brewing coffee: neither of which were ingredients for my milkshake.  I inquired and was told, "Almost."  After ten more minutes of polite waiting I decided to check in again, "Is my milkshake ready by any chance?"  To this I was told that there were still drinks ahead of me and that it would be another fifteen to twenty minutes. 

WHAT!?

My impatience obvious, I asked how that was possible.  The response was that she was making other drinks.  Having only seen about four other people anywhere near the cart in the space of forty minutes, and seeing as I didn't have another few hours to wait I told her that she should just cancel my order because I had no idea that there was a 45 minute plus total wait time.  To that she responded, "Well, besides the line it takes fifteen minutes to make a milkshake!"  WHAT!?!?  Was she milking the soy cow back there?  Totally  Bizarre.  I walked away disgusted, with a belly devoid of the coveted chocolate/peanut butter/oreo milkshake.

So that's the story of my disappointing and unfruitful experience at Sip.  There were a lot of east coast/west coast differences that I found glaringly obvious during my trip, but this one is an unfounded mystery.  Is it possible that on the left coast milkshakes truly do take a minimum of fifteen minutes (minus extraordinary wait times) to create from pre-made ingredients?  Could it be a time zone thing?

Meanwhile, I'm home and I'll go to Lula's.

OUR BEST MEAL IN PORTLAND: Blossoming Lotus Irvington

On our first night in Portland we met two vegan girls at Potato Champion who, as natives, kindly discussed our planned vegan itinerary with us. It turned out that one of the girls, Jen (I believe), was a waitress at the new Blossoming Lotus restaurant in Irvington and she implored us to make it a point to visit. We promised to try.

Fast forward to our last evening in Portland. We had been pleasantly surprised by many restaurants that hadn't been recommended by anyone at all (some even discouraged), and grossly disappointed in quite a few that had been recommended highly and often. We had been too full for even a snack when we ducked into the Blossoming Lotus cafe in the Pearl, but on this evening we decided to go big or go home: heading to Blossoming Lotus Irvington for what we hoped would be a nice and enjoyable, no-nonsense dinner to cap off our trip.

For starters, the space was beautiful. Nothing too over the top: every touch from the color palate to the light fixtures was purposeful, delicate, and refined. The atmosphere immediately lent itself to a calming, relaxing, dinner environment.

We hadn't realize beforehand that they didn't have a liquor license yet (I believe they do serve beer and perhaps wine now), so we decided to try the non-alcoholic, basil mojito; it was unusual and fantastic.

Onto the meal. For starters, unlike other purported "fine" establishments in Portland, Blossoming Lotus actually served complimentary bread, olive oil & balsamic at the start! We already felt way ahead of the game and were confident that we were embarking upon a wonderful experience.

For appetizers we chose: The warm pesto and white bean dip: served with blue corn chips, this was a generous portion of a delicious spread that you'd never assume was vegan. Also, the roasted beet and curried cashew salad: a fresh and crunchy salad of greens, veggies, seeds, yummy cashews, and delicious spiralized beets. I rarely if ever order a salad out, but this one made it worth my while to have agreed to forfeit choosing another appetizer to share.

Every meal that was served to the surrounding tables looked incredible and we were anxious for our own meals to arrive so that we could see how they stacked up against what we had already seen. We were not disappointed. My BBQ Tempeh Platter was delicious: tender tempeh and sauteed onions smothered in a delicious barbecue sauce and served with a bowl of hearty bean chili and two giant pieces of corn bread. My companion ordered the Black Bean Quesadilla, a huge, hearty, and super packed 'dilla served with chips. We couldn't pick a favorite of the two, but we did agree that the steaming, multi-optioned stir-fry would have been each of our next choice if we had another evening to visit.

Dessert: When we arrived, the mini chalkboard listing the desserts of the day boasted creamsicle soft serve. My companion was thrilled, but since I abhor fruity desserts I was bummed. By the end of the meal, however, we were both too stuffed to even consider dessert (therein lies the problem of dining out away from home- no opportunity for leftovers). Happily, the atmosphere in the restaurant was so serene that the waitress welcomed us to stay as long as we wanted. Luckily, we stayed chatting long enough that I was able to make some room in my tummy for one of the delicious chais I'd seen ordered in multiples by every table. I was just about to place my order when something drew my attention to the chalkboard again, and it was now boasting chocolate hazelnut soft-serve! I asked the waitress to confirm that it wasn't a mirage, and she explained that the flavor had, in fact, changed during dinner. So, I did what any self-respecting vegan would do: I ordered both the chai and the ice cream. The soft-serve was creamy and dense; I definitely didn't need it after such a fulfilling and satisfying meal, but I was thrilled to have the opportunity to be enjoying the infamous Blossoming Lotus soft-serve in a respectable flavor offering.

Now for the chai. I don't know how best to approach this, so I'll just come right out and say it. BEST. CHAI. EVER. Hands down. I literally cannot order a chai ever again from anywhere else; it was that good. I ordered it hot because it was chilly on the evening I indulged, but I imagine that the iced version is just as delicious in warmer weather. The waitress told me that the recipe originated in their Kauai, Hawaii location, and would only divulge that coconut milk was involved (she may have even winked). BLPDX, I want you to know that such limited information is worthless to me; I am not that crafty! Please share the actual recipe with me and I promise to use it only for purposes of chai-ing myself into chai oblivion here on the east coast!

This meal was incredible from beginning to end: beautiful space, relaxed atmosphere, friendly & pleasant waitstaff, and a wide variety of quality, scrumptious food and drink options at very reasonable prices. They were very new when we visited, but that didn't prevent the entire staff from being 100% welcoming and accommodating. Oddly, however, not one vegan we met during our trip (besides Jen) recommended BL: more evidence of the Portland clique-ishness we had trouble deciphering. So, as an outsider to this puzzle I will simply recommend- adamantly- that if you are travelling to Portland I urge you not to miss a visit to Blossoming Lotus Irvington; totally terrific.

And Jen, we owe you a huge debt of gratitude; our experience (and meal!) was our favorite dinner of the trip and one of the few places we visited that prompted us to say, "There is nothing of this niche in New York and there should be!" Thank you again for the suggestion and sorry to have missed you, as you weren't in on the night we visited. We hope to return and see you then.

Mighty O Donuts from Whole Foods in the Pearl

So here's what happened. We were wandering through the Portland Whole Foods in the Pearl and my eagle {vegan} eye spotted a teeny, tiny sign in the baked goods cabinet (yes, it was a cabinet) that said "vegan" and "donut". They were kind of teeny and marked $2.50 so I hesitated. But then I realized that the sign said "Mighty O" and, while I couldn't remember exactly what I'd read about them, something compelled me to grab one. As it turned out, the sign was wrong and the donut was an extremely fair $1.50; I tucked it in my bag and went on with my day.

Later, while still in the neighborhood, I remembered having read raves about this Seattle-based company's donuts and decided to take a taste. I had chosen the cinnamon flavor and it was an immediate tingle of cinnamon and sugar and cake within my mouth. It tasted like a fresher, higher quality, healthier, donut version of the butter-laden cinnamon sugar Auntie Anne's pretzels I had enjoyed too many of years ago. I immediately returned to WF to purchase the other flavor: a chocolate donut with chocolate icing and coconut flakes, and managed to hold off on devouring that one.

With all of the other things I was stuffing in my face all day I forgot about the chocolate donut until about 24 hours later. Imagine my surprise when I bit into it and it was just as fresh and delicious- only super chocolatey compared to super cinnamonny- as if it was just baked. Wow. This one was, like I said, perfectly chocolatey cake with a dreamy chocolate icing and delicate coconut dust. Just. Superb. Om Nom.

So, if you haven't already guessed- the reason there is no photo is because it was one (okay two) of those times where I was caught in such a flurry of unexpected vegan goodness that I lost all sense of archival purpose. I urge everyone on the east coast to check out the Mighty O website to see what I'm talking about, and then sulk because the donuts are only available on the west coast. Then go grab yourself one of the many varieties of scrumptious Vegan Treats donuts to assuage the self-pity until you can get yourself to Seattle!

Voodoo Doughnuts

I've read really good reviews of Voodoo Doughnuts, and really bad reviews. Plus, I'm spoiled by a ridiculous variety of extraordinary Vegan Treats donuts here on the east coast. So, I was actually willing to bypass Voodoo on our eating journey through Portland. However, on our way to the Saturday Market I couldn't help but notice a line coming out of an unassuming establishment relatively early on an otherwise desolate street. Lo & behold, it was the SW location of Voodoo Doughnuts; I couldn't pass it up.

It was nice to hear that other people on the slow-moving line were also waiting to partake in the vegan donuts, but all I heard from folks coming out were mutterings that there weren't many flavors available. Picky, picky! In the olden days there were no vegan donuts!

When we got inside, it became obvious why there was a line into the street: the shop only only holds about 8 people at a time. It's kind of creepy and dimly lit, never an appetizing effect in an eating establishment. But, in stark contrast is the brightly lit, rotating case of donuts in the corner. Despite the lengthy overhead listing of donuts, though, the only ones they have are the ones within the case and you can't see them until you're second on line! Note: the donuts in the case are real donuts displaying the current variety available. There are trays upon trays upon trays of fresh "stock" behind the counter.

Surprisingly, the lone guy at the counter acted neither like a primadonna or a gestapo- and he easily could have, given the demand. He patiently answered all questions and did not rush anyone. There were more vegan varieties than we expected, although out of 6-8 options, 2-3 were the same flavors in different shapes. Either that or he was just tired of answering, "What's that one? What's that one?" All of the vegan donuts looked very appetizing and just as donutty as the non-vegan versions, of which there were significantly more and quirkier options. We decided upon an iced cake donut covered in chick-o-stick crumbs and a larger, pleasantly lumpy-shaped apple fritter.

The chick-o-stick donut tasted like Mister Donut donuts I remember as a kid: fresh, dense, and cakey- almost crispy on the outside. It was delicious and perfectly enhanced by just the right amount of icing and a generous amount of chick-o-stick. Although I don't like apple, the fritter was a lighter, airier donut with an appetizing fritter glaze; my apple dessert-loving companion enjoyed every bite. Overall, we were both please and surprised by the donut caliber and would definitely recommend Voodoo as a stop on your own tour of vegan Portland. They are hard to miss; Voodoo has two locations (SW and NE "too") and are open 24 hours.

Portobello Vegan Trattoria

We did not meet a vegan in Portland that didn’t recommend this restaurant, so we were happy to have made our reservations a month in advance. As we’d heard, residing on an unassuming corner across the street from a bodega, Portobello takes over when Cellar Door coffee closes in the evenings.

On initial glance the lackadaisical transformational effort comes across as quaint, but we were immediately disappointed at the severe lack of warmth in our greeting. A small restaurant gaining a following should really back it up with personality from the get go. At very least, they need to do better than “Do you have a reservation?” as the first and only words spoken from hostess duty. But, the small "dining room" was completely filled with reserved tables, so we took that as an extremely promising sign.

Once seated, we weren’t surprised to find ourselves looking at a menu full of delicious choices. Our host, now the waitress, was quiet and unsmiling. We had hoped she’d offer some enthusiasm and/or insight to help us with our decisions, but she merely stood before us with her pencil poised over her order book. So, we ordered some wine to start, along with an appetizer to share. We were disappointed by the bitterness of the wine. While we saw another table collectively give theirs back, we merely asked for a glass of ice for ours. The waitress returned with a jar containing 3 crumbs of ice cubes and flatly asked if that was enough; it was almost as if she was trying to be unhelpful, or worse: antagonistic. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have generously brought a glassful of ice to the table than to make such an insultingly chintzy offering of frozen water? On the second try we received about ten cubes.

Our appetizer was sliced bread served with olive oil. We found it more than a little unusual to have to order bread and olive oil as an appetizer in an Italian restaurant rather than have it served gratis, but it was delicious nonetheless. The bread was fresh and crispy (although not even close to focaccia, as it’s listed), and served with very nice olive oil sprinkled with coarse sea salt.

For dinner we chose to share three options:

spaghetti with meatballs: The meatballs were the most delicious, vegetably meatball substitutes I've ever had. Not at all meaty tasting, they were the perfect texture and consistency and were nicely complimented by Portobello’s tasty, basily, tomato sauce.

tempeh hazelnut ravioli: adorable handmade raviolis filled with tempeh and sprinkled with hazelnuts and olive oil.

Best potato gnocchi ever: The most accurate description I can give of this dish is that it tasted like a cross between fresh pasta and the filling of a hush puppy from Gargiulo's (yes, I remember); to call this dish gnocchi is to grossly simply it-- by far our favorite choice of the evening.

When it came time for dessert we were tickled to find out that this “coffee shop by day” didn’t so much as offer decaf in the evenings. The irony notwithstanding (and unacknowledged by the possibly lobotomized waitress), we ordered two desserts to share. The chocolate hazelnut cannoli was a huge portion of two giant "cannolis", but extremely disappointing. The shell was a maple-flavored wafflecone-like cookie filled with room temperature chocolate mousse. The Tiramisu, however, was very rich, creamy, authentic and also generous in size; we could see why this is so popular.

A few times during the meal the chef made an appearance in the dining room. The first time everyone looked up excitedly from their tables in anticipation of his greeting, brimming over with their individual responses of certain accolades for the food. Unfortunately, not once did the chef acknowledge any of the patrons in the full dining room except for one couple at one table. He came out three times during the time we were there to gush over the same diners in a way that screamed, "You are the only people who interest me", and it was uncomfortable for everyone else. Surely he is much too busy to chit-chat with everyone, but a smile and a nod goes a long way. Clearly the hostess/waitstaff aren't the only people at Portobello who could use some training in the customer interaction department.

The fact is, I could return to a restaurant nightly on the basis of this caliber of gnocchi of alone. But customer service is very important to me and to come to a “nice” restaurant and not have any more conversation with the staff than if they were robots was more than a bit unsettling. I’d rather have mediocre food and great service; it's that important to the experience. But, in a vegan-friendly place like Portland, you don't have to compromise: you can get the whole package elsewhere.

I admire that the vegan community within Portland supports each other so adamantly, but there seemed to be different cliques that we, as tourists, weren't equipped to differentiate between. Certain vegan establishments that we were repeatedly recommended to were disappointing, and others that were dismissed by many vegans were surprisingly wonderful. With our New York accents, maybe we were simply not from the clique that is entitled to receive friendly service from Portobello? Final word: excellent food, mediocre atmosphere, abysmal service.

Back to Eden Bakery

Lucky for us, Back to Eden Bakery had just opened a week prior to our visit. Ardent Vegan Treats fans, we hadn't had much luck on the baked goods front since arriving in Portland, but we entered the Back To Eden shoppe and were immediately blown away; it is decorated with such exquisite charm and care: the personality comes through in every adornment. It has a decidedly Lula’s Sweet Apothecary flair and John, the owner, even told us that they were his inspiration. He was warm, welcoming, and the embodiment of the personality that his shoppe conveys. It’s hard to decide where to look first at Back to Eden. Besides the decoration, there are a bunch of great things to buy: from pre-packaged vegan foods to handmade items from local artists, to beautiful artwork: everything is displayed in such a way so as to fit with the theme of the shoppe.

And then there is the food. The cases are full to the brim with an eclectic and inviting assortment of freshly baked goodies: both sweet and savory. Every single item looks just-baked and delectable; it’s impossible to choose just one thing. Take a moment to read the framed article on the wall overhead: it details how everything is baked out of their home’s garage, which has been newly renovated into a commercial kitchen. Also learn how many of the ingredients have been grown in their own garden. You just can’t fake this kind of dedication.

On our first visit we showed some restraint and went with the following:

pumpkin whoopie pie: DIVINE. What’s not to love about something that tastes like a perfectly spiced, pumpkin devil dog?

butterscotch white chocolate chip pecan cookie: Fantastic. Just soft and chewy enough, while retaining a crisp-- possibly my new favorite vegan cookie (and I'm very picky about my cookies).

lemon blueberry scone: Perfect texture, flavor, etc.; now THIS was a scone.

And the piece de resistance: A sundae made with ½ Dark Chocolate Luna & Larry’s Coconut Bliss ice cream, ½ Chicago Soy Dairy Temptation soft serve twist, smothered in Holy Kakow chocolate sauce, homemade caramel sauce, and a chopped up Go Max Go Jokerz candy bar. Let me be the first to HIGHLY recommend this concoction. May I even be so bold as to name it “The East Coast”? Besides being a veritable Snickers sundae, the cold of the ice cream had an incredible and unexpected freezing effect on the already incredible Jokerz pieces and I enjoyed every single chomp of this hefty sundae.

We, of course, returned to Back to Eden on the last day of our trip in order to bring home an assortment of their ever-revolving, equally scrumptious goodies. This time we went for:

More pumpkin whoopie pies: You’ll understand after you’ve eaten one...or 12.

macaroons: regular, chocolate walnut, and strawberry

hazelnut shortbread: delicate and delicious

marionberry muffin: soft, airy and fresh

marionberry pie: delectable

apricot scone: fantastically filled with dried apricot pieces and a center of apricot preserves

cherry pecan tart: tasty, gooey tart of caramelly goodness...oh yeah, cherries and pecans too

chocolate strawberry cupcake: You know the run-of-the-mill vegan cupcakes with overly sugary icing and bland cake? This was the antithesis of that.

I can’t say enough about the incredible offerings at Back to Eden. They have attended to every single detail and it shows. Now THIS is the kind of bakery I expected of Portland. And now I hear that they have chocolate croissants? Let’s work out a coast-to-coast shipping estimate, shall we? Thanks to John, the bakers, and the friendly staff for all of the incredible goodies. You are officially our go-to West Coast bakery. Continued success!

Tour De Crepes

Walking down NE Alberta for the second day in a row I was determined to find Tour de Crepes; I hadn't had a crepe since my eighth grade french class! As it turned out, it was a tucked behind “Suzette”: an adorable little restaurant that is somehow connected to the tiny silver crepe cart in back. I’m still not entirely sure how the two are related, but after you order at the cart you can seat yourself either in their restaurant or in their front garden/patio area where they'll serve you your freshly made crepe with your silverware in an adorable little box on the side.

So, despite having just had breakfast, I couldn’t pass up 1) the welcoming chalkboard sign exclaiming, "Vegans Rejoice" as a header to their vegan options and 2) the offering of a vegan nutella crepe. It was soft, fresh, generously sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar; overall: divine. I was no longer lamenting having passed up the unusual crepe from Perriera Creperie, as this was exactly the soft, desserty crepe I’d had in mind when I’d dismissed their crispy one.

In a nutshell, Tour De Crepes' crepe was delicious. Make a conscious effort to look for them (apparently there is a sign that says, cryptically, "This way to order crepes" but I somehow missed it) and then enjoy in the courtyard of Suzette.

Tin Shed Garden Cafe

In my exhaustive restaurant search in preparation for our trip to Portland I had come across glowing reviews of the Tin Shed Garden Café. Yet surprisingly, all the vegans we met in Portland were very dismissive about it. Granted, it’s not vegan or even vegetarian, but it is vegan friendly AND dogs are welcome (and even have their own menu), so we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to dine amidst some canine friends.

We went for brunch and sat outside in their adorable covered, heated seating area. We started with a fresh squeezed OJ and a gigantic, fresh mimosa: both delicious. I had the vegan friendly “Tim Curry”: a blend of veggies and tofu over fresh spinach, topped with peanuts and raisins in a coconut curry sauce, and served with potato cakes (shredded hash browns). Smothered with Secret Aardvark, this was a delicious and hearty way to start the day. The vegetarian went for the “Sin”: sweet potato bread French toast served with maple syrup and fresh fruit (even figs!), and a side of potato cakes.

One of the nicest things about the Tin Shed is that even though they are super busy, no one makes you feel rushed or as though your service is being adversely affected by the crowd. The service was terrific and we enjoyed a leisurely meal in the clearly popular spot. The fact that most (all?) of their produce comes from the garden in the backyard doesn’t hurt either; to say that it is fresh would be an understatement. The food is very local, very fresh, and tastes it.

In fact, we enjoyed our experience at the Tin Shed so much that we returned for dinner a few nights later to both enjoy the “Baby Beluga”: the dinner version of the coconut curry breakfast, served with lentils over rice (instead of spinach). We added a generous side of crunchy chips and (always vegan) potato salad and were very pleased with both.

Most important to note, though, is how much we thoroughly enjoyed our vegan Bloody Mary’s, which were garnished with some Picklopolis goodies (pepper, pearl onion, olive) and a giant, fresh celery stalk. We even tried one “Cajun”, made with Hot Monkey Pepper vodka: terrific.

It is also possible that the handsome Jesse James was seated across from us, but we weren't and still aren't sure (he's in the way background of one of our pictures). Does anyone know if he's a Portland frequenter?

All in all, I would highly recommend this casual, friendly, all-inclusive restaurant to anyone dining in the area.

Hungry Tiger Too: Vegan Corn Dog

Our delayed arrival in Portland prevented us from partaking in Hungry Tiger Too’s $1 corndog Wednesday (not to mention drag queen bingo at Crush bar). Luckily, the gal we met at Potato Champion on our first night warned us that it would have been a madhouse, and that it was worth the extra $$ to leisurely enjoy a corndog on any other day. That I did.

In my defense, I had already eaten breakfast, but still I admit my foolishness: I only ordered one corn dog. I was so excited that I couldn’t even read the menu (separate for vegans and extensive), just begged the waitress for a vegan corndog! I should say that I have never had a corn dog before: vegan or otherwise. Why didn’t anyone tell me how good they are? Oh my goodness, this thing was delectable. Not only was the outer “shell” crunchy, corny, and delicious, but somehow the preparation of the corndog made the inner dog the most succulent vegan dog I’ve ever had. Condimentally speaking, I chose plain ketchup. The cold, sweet, tomato taste really lent itself to the warm, fried creation and I was a happy camper. Why aren't there vegan corn dog vendors on every corner of every city on every coast, I wonder?

Bonus: While in the vegan mini-mall I thought I spied the infamous Isa Chandra Moskowitz walking by. Then, when I entered HTT there she was in the flesh (as opposed to on the cover of my cookbook looking knowingly at me as if to say, “I couldn’t have made it any easier for you, you cooking reject.”) Alas, I was too embarrassed to say hello because 1.) I was afraid she might quiz me on one of her recipes and 2.) I didn’t think it was fair to say I was a fan of her cookbooks whilst being handed an unhealthy (albeit vegan) corn dog. Anyhoo, “Hi Isa, your recipes are literally the only ones I can follow!”

I can only speak for the corn dog, but Hungry Tiger Too is a DEFINITE must stop for vegans on its merit alone. I can’t say anything about the service or the atmosphere because first I was too excited to notice, and then I was too satiated to care.

Anyone know where else in the country one can find a vegan corn dog? Must. Get. More.

Vegan Mini-Mall, Part IV: Sweet Pea Bakery (i.e. Buzzkill)

After our whirlwind tour of Food Fight, Herbivore, and Scapegoat, we were looking forward to the veritable feast of sweets that was surely awaiting us in the famed Sweet Pea Bakery. We were on such a high from our experiences in the other three stores and were looking forward to completing our vegan mini-mall experience with a relaxing nosh. Unfortunately, our jolly good time came to a screeching halt.

Each of the other stores had been quaint and charming in their own way, but Sweet Pea was cavernous and barren. The visible kitchen in the "back" was huge, but the counter's display case wasn’t very full. Worst of all, though, was the glare that we were greeted with, as if we were interrupting something. I said hello and received a smile-less nod in response. I wasn’t overly impressed by the offerings in the case; surprisingly, many cakes looked dry and not necessarily fresh. But then I saw the Charlie Brown. I had heard of this creation, but had no idea it was a peanut butter and chocolate concoction. I immediately ordered it, along with a scone, a biscotti, and two lattes to share with my traveling companion.

While the counterperson was gathering up our goods I excitedly asked if she knew what Sunday’s brunch was going to be; her response was to shake her head no. I uncomfortably asked if it was too early in the week to inquire (it was Thursday) and she barely shrugged. Hmm, isn't part of being in the service industry talking to customers? You know, actually speaking with your voice? Although the brunch had been on our list for Sunday months in advance, my companion and I exchanged defeated glances that confirmed the agreement of what we were both already thinking: "we are not coming back here". It’s one thing not to be a conversationalist, but the blatant unfriendliness immediately and completely spoiled the visit. I’m guessing she isn’t the person who tweets all the friendly messages about daily muffins and special offers for jokes that make her laugh. I have no tolerance for unnecessary and unwarranted rudeness.

So, onto the food.

For starters, I was immediately disappointed to have been handed the sloppiest mocha I have ever seen. Forget an artful finishing design on top- it was sloshing out of the cup onto the saucer as it was handed it to me: not exactly the vision of the beautiful SweetPea lattes I’d seen blogged and bragged about on Portland blogs. I bit into the Charlie Brown first and it was decadent: a crispy, crunchy layer topped with a thick peanut butter layer, topped with a thick dark chocolate layer- absolute deliciousness. Unfortunately, it was then that I looked over at the vegetarian across from me who had tasted the chocolate chip scone. To my raised eyebrows she responded with dry mouth, “This tastes like what people think vegan food tastes like.” So, of course, I had to try it. It was completely tasteless and dry; as my companion noted, “They even managed to suck the taste out of the few, random chips”. Between my satisfaction with the glory of my Charlie Brown and her understandable misery from the disappointment in her dry blob, I knew I had to defer the pumpkin, white chocolate chip biscotti to her...but I tasted it first. As most vegan biscotti are, it was too soft for me, but it was fresh and delicious and the vegetarian happily munched on it in lieu of the tasteless triangle she had before her. I’d like to stress that the scone was the worst we’d ever tasted: so completely devoid of moisture and any taste whatsoever that we considered asking for a refund on principle (we didn’t); it was as horrible as the Charlie Brown was delicious. The only difference is that I expected Sweet Pea’s stuff to be delicious, never horrid.

I’m assuming this experience is a rare occurrence, but for somebody traveling from across the country it’s the only visit I have to go by. In summary, the Charlie Brown was, of course, FANTASTIC. The biscotti was good, the lattes embarrassing, the scone an abomination. But overall, it’s hard to ignore the slipshod, rude, mute service. Two thumbs down, I’m afraid. You can see why we cropped Sweet Pea out of the frame when photographing the illustrious mini-mall.

Vegan Mini-Mall, Part III: Scapegoat Tattoo

So, I’d been unsuccessfully scoping out possible tattoo shops for a relatively small but meaningful tattoo. When I planned my trip to Portland it occurred to me that this vegan had business getting a vegan tattoo.

When I went on Scapegoat’s website, I clicked on Ryan Mason first. His canine tattoos had me sold immediately, and I contacted him to make an appointment. Unfortunately, he was not going to be in Portland when I was and was already completely booked for his NY stint. He was super-friendly and helpful, highly recommending the other artists in the shop.

Despite gads of sketches, I travelled to Portland with only one picture of an idea and a concerted effort to quell my expectations that this famed vegan shop would prove to be “the one”. Then, one peek into the as-yet-to-open-for-the-day shop and I knew I had come to the right place.

So, after visiting Food Fight and Herbivore we dipped into Scapegoat. Not only is the space literally expansive, but it is decorated gorgeously. I’ve never seen a tattoo shop this beautiful. We were greeted by a kind, non-judgmental guy who immediately began discussing my tattoo in a most respectful way: not at all patronizing or condescending as some tattoo shops tend to be (I’m talking to you, East Side Ink). He had great suggestions and was very responsive to my feedback. Then he introduced me to the artist, Dylan. If possible, Dylan was even more agreeable and collaborative: easily deferring to me as the person instead of him as the capital A artist. The whole process was effortless. Dylan even had me laughing about eating/not eating cheese amidst the buzzing. Dylan, if you’re reading this I hope you’ve since tried Daiya and you love it.

The tattoo came out even better than I had imagined and it was one of my favorite experiences in Portland. On our second to last night we ran into the friendly gentleman from the front desk (I’m such a loser that I don’t remember his name) at Blossoming Lotus Irvington. He was just as kind, and even genuinely interested in how the tattoo had turned out and was healing.

Scapegoat is a class act; thanks guys.

Vegan Mini-Mall, Part II: Herbivore

My mom is an elephant collector, so when Herbivore came out with the line of elephant stuff my radar was up. Only problem was that everything with an elephant said, “I’m vegan and I love you”, and my mom is neither a vegan or a poser. Then I found the matching belt, with the buckle boasting the same elephant and no saying. I thought I had scored until I realized the belt was printed with the word herbivore. She’d given up red meat and fish, but chicken was still on the table, so to speak. So, no go.

One day I absentmindedly sent her a picture I had found on the internet of a cute, fuzzy, live baby chick chillin’ in a hamburger bun. THEN I took her to the Woodstock Farm Sanctuary for the first time to meet the ridiculously colorful chickens in person. AND THEN she went vegetarian. Gotta love it. So, I proudly marched myself right into Herbivore and picked up the very last herbivore elephant belt for my deserving herbivore mom. And now? She explains to everyone who asks her where she gets her protein “If elephants can maintain on the protein they get from a vegetarian diet, then so can I.” HA! Take that, carnies (read more about her on SuperVegan).

But, I digress. It was great fun poking around Herbivore and chatting with the friendly gals. They have tons of cool shirts, sweatshirts, etc., and plenty of accessories like bags, wallets, jewelry, etc. Of course they have a bunch of adorable pins and stickers, and also cute cards and artwork. I got a bunch of stuff, including a really cool belt by Yosifa Penina that I must have missed on the website, and a gorgeous wallet by Espe. Funny note, a non-vegan coworker saw my wallet and surreptitiously went online in search of one for herself. The next day she told me she ordered herself one and asked me if I’d ever heard of “Alternative Outfitters”. Um, yeah! So now one less cow is a wallet; thank you, Herbivore.

A second enjoyable stop in the unduplicated vegan mini-mall; stay tuned for Part III: Scapegoat.

Vegan Mini-Mall, Part I: Food Fight Vegan Grocery

Our non-vegan driven cab pulled up to the mini-mall and before I could even take it in he asked, “Is this where you’re going: F-o-o-d F-i-g-h-t?” Yes sir, YES I AM. After shopping online for so long I had finally arrived. Where to begin?!

We sashayed into Food Fight as if we are always waltzing into 100% vegan supermarkets; yeah right. I was actually surprised by how big it was since I keep reading that it’s “much tinier than you expect”. Come on vegans, are we that jaded? That spoiled? No, no we are not. I mean, we are spoiled in the respect that our offerings have come a long way, but last time I checked there wasn't exactly a vegan Foodtown on every other corner.

Not only is Food Fight of significant size, but considering that every single item is completely vegan: it’s monstrous. It actually took me a few minutes to get my bearings and stop scanning over things hoping to catch a familiar item or the word vegan. Holy crap, it all was! Once that was settled we grabbed a cart (yes, a full-sized wagon for all of those peeps proclaiming the stores’ diminutive size), and went to town. It’s hard enough choosing a meal from an all-vegan menu, but food shopping in an all vegan supermarket is mind-boggling and time-consuming and basically ridonkulous. No reading labels, no wondering if an ingredient is animal-derived...everything is for ME!

I won’t bore you (right now) with everything we bought since you can check it all out online, but I will tell you that there was a lot of cool stuff and the shelf labels are just as funny as the online quips. My favorite purchase was a Herbivore totebag that says “Don’t be a jerk; go vegan”, with a pig holding a thank you note. The funniest thing I did not buy was a small pin with a picture of eggs and bacon, reading: “choke on it”. Of course there was everything in between from the staples to haggis and caviar. And, I was surprised to find, in addition to refrigerated and frozen sections, they even have a fresh produce “department”; very cool. NY, you need to get on this.

One big disappointment, though, was the absence of the nacho cheese pump. Apparently Chad had visited the LES and regaled Blythe from Lula’s Sweet Apothecary with stories of the pump. When she found out we were visiting she urged me to try it and report back how it had changed my life; it was literally on our list of “things to do in Portland”. So, where was it? Chad says that the creators are the youngest kid from Home Improvement and his ex-wife, who thus far can’t settle the division of this supposedly incredible cheese product: Playfood. How selfish of them (I kid…a little). So sadly, no 7-11 style pumping for me.

We spent plenty of time in Food Fight: taking it all in, perusing the goods, and stockpiling for home (4 bottles of Secret Aardvark, thankyouverymuch). It was actually hard to leave; we had come from so far. I imagine it is what people feel like on their descent from Mt. Everest. Again, I kid…a little. I didn’t find Portland to be the total and complete vegan Mecca I had expected, but Food Fight is a definite must-visit for all vegans.

Stay tuned for Part II: Herbivore.

Vita Cafe

In preparation for our trip to Portland I had read a lot of restaurant/cart menus and food blogs. Vita Café was on my list of definites because of their corn cakes. I love corn, I love pancakes, but I’d never heard of or tasted such a thing. Perhaps they are as rampant in Portland as biscuits with gravy (I’ve never had them either), but Vita’s menu boasted the largest and most varied selection: Thai, Hazelnut, Mexican, and I knew I had to try them.

It was our first full day in Portland and Vita was our breakfast of choice. The restaurant was bright, seemingly clean, and bigger than we expected. Even though they had just opened five minutes prior, there was already a couple seated, so we took that as a good sign. And then-

We were neither greeted nor welcomed by our sour-pussed waitress who asked us for our order practically before our butts had hit the seats. Then she slammed our beverages down on the table, presumably as punctuation to her second order inquiry. Her response to my, “Can the Thai corn cakes be made without cilantro” request was an indecipherable and barely audible grunt, although I am happy to report it was fulfilled.

Oddly, as the restaurant began to fill up and a good 50% of patrons began to order a menu item containing the ubiquitous corn cake batter, we overheard the waitress (who equally spread her sunshine amongst the customers) repeatedly report “There’s no corn cake batter. We had a little, but it’s already been ordered.” Score for me, but what the heck? They had just opened.

In any event, I got my corn cake. It was filled with slices of fresh banana, seasoned with ginger and accompanied by a mild coconut crème “syrup” that was more like a pudding. I tried dipping my corn cake into maple syrup, but the thick coconut sauce really lent itself to the ingredients much better. My companion’s French toast, however, didn’t fare as well. Thick slices of sourdough, they were ultimately only “French toasted” on the outside, leaving a thick, dry, uncooked bread center: ick.

Most important to note, though, is that upon receiving our breakfasts, we were immediately inundated by a family of gnats. GNATS. Now, I eat out a lot and this has never happened. We actually choked down our meals whilst simultaneously waving them away; it was not pleasant. And then, as soon as the plates were removed, so too went the infestation. Creepy.

Under normal circumstances we probably would have left then, but we had not yet spent the entirety of our Merc Perk certificate and the gnats were gone. So, once the peace had been restored to our table, we began discussing what to try from the dessert case. And then- the waitress unceremoniously slammed the check onto the table. When I told her we wanted dessert she snatched it back up again in a fury. I had the further gall to ask what the choices were and she informed me that there were too many for her to say. Really? So I went over to the case myself, where most of the stuff was unmarked. Hmm, must be a secret.

I wound up choosing a slice of Sweet Pea Bakery’s peanut butter chocolate chip cheesecake that I recognized from a blog post, but found it to be quite dry and almost pasty; I've never seen a cheesecake crumble when faced with a fork. I should note that I wasn't a huge fan of cheesecake before being vegan, but Vegan Treats has spoiled me with their creamy, delicious, and multi-topped and flavored offerings so perhaps I'm spoiled. And, to give Sweet Pea the benefit of the doubt, it's possible that Vita's refrigerator was not regulated properly for optimum cheesecake consistency. Don’t know, but won’t be going back to a place where the audible sighs from the waitress are only outnumbered by the amount of gnats swarming your plate to find out.

Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce

Yes, a hot sauce this good deserves its own post. I hesitate to even call Secret Aardvark a hot sauce; it is a choice condiment. As explained in a previous post, this east coast vegan foodie traveled from EWK to PDX and headed straight for the Potato Champion food cart where 1) she enjoyed delicious fries and 2) she was introduced to her new favorite condiment: Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce.

It took me years to find my previous favorite: Melinda's XXX-hot Habanero hot sauce, and I still love it as a hot sauce. But again I have to emphasize that Secret Aardvark is more than a hot sauce. An accompaniment? Enhancement? Sauce for all occasions? Yum.

I'm back on my home coast now, telling all my fellow hot sauce fiends about Secret Aardvark and hoarding my own bottles. Buy yours now; you won't be sorry. This is not just another hot sauce. This is a hot sauce that you taste one day, and have Food Fight ship 4 bottles home the next. I'm already down to 3 and planning my meals around it. Get on it.

Potato Champion and Whiffies

Let me start with literally our first stop from the airport (with luggage!): the much anticipated food carts: Potato Champion and Whiffies. If you've ever been to the Rutgers Campus in New Brunswick, imagine the parking lot that houses the infamous grease trucks...only much swankier and inherently more festive.

POTATO CHAMPION: Much like our beloved NYC Pommes Frites, Potato Champion serves Belgian Fries with assorted vegan and non-vegan sauces, only it’s a cart instead of a jam-packed, miniscule restaurant with an everlasting line out the door. Coincidentally, Potato Champion buys its paper fry cones from Pommes Frites, but they can only serve them that way if you are taking your fries to go. Reason being: while the seating is abundant (outdoor, covered, lit with fairy lights), they are no fry cone holes in the table! What’s up with that, Potato Champion? We regaled our Portland dining companions with stories of these heavenly, NY fry cone table holes while we dug into our fries from within a recycled to-go container a la Whole Foods. They seemed up for it, so get out your drill Potato Champion: your delicious contribution to the potato-loving world wants to be displayed in all it's glory whilst being devoured.

The verdict: I though the fries were fantabulous. I found them more potato-y than Pommes Frites. Although she thoroughly enjoyed the Potato Champion version and ate her fair share, my traveling partner decided that she ultimately prefers the more crispy Pommes Frites version. It is the classic dilemma between a latke and a tater-tot. Those who adore potatoes prefer the latke ratio of potato to crisp, while those who prefer the crisp adore the tater-tot over-proportion of crisp to potato. Simple tot logic if you will.

There are plenty of sauces to choose from at Potato Champion, but they were out of the horseradish ketchup that I was looking forward to (boo). When I lamented its crossed out existence, the gentleman in the cart asked me why I didn’t just make my own. Ouch. I defended myself with the fact that I’d just flown across the country and didn’t think of it; he seemed to accept that as a plausible excuse. So, instead we tried the Rosemary Ketchup (one vote for, one against) and the Hot Sweet Mustard (opposite opposing votes). We decided that if we made it back before the end of our trip we would be satisfied with plain ketchup and a truckload full of Portland’s own: Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce, which we discovered here. A word about Secret Aardvark sauce: GET IT! This is the best hot sauce I’ve ever had. Henceforth I will use Melinda’s XXX habanero as a hot sauce, but Secret Aardvark as a condiment. Oh, for the love of yum.

WHIFFIES: Whiffies is a cart that serves only fried pies. Yep, fried pies. Imagine a fried-to-order, giant, half-moon shaped pie boasting a thick, buttery (vegan) shell, tastewise: kind of like what I remember of the warm apple pies from McDonald’s, but infinitely better . So, they have all kinds of vegan, non-vegan, savory and sweet flavors to choose from and their menu board suggests you tell them if you’re vegan so they can cook your vegan pies in the vegan fryer (I guess if they’re busy they aren’t that picky unless asked). So, since the delicious Potato Champion served as our dinner, we decided to go for sweet pies as dessert. Portland Marionberry, Coconut Crème, and Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip to be exact.

Here’s the thing about Whiffie’s pies. They look big enough, but once you start eating them they become insurmountable because the crust is so rich. I can eat a dozen Vegan Treats donuts at a clip, yet I couldn’t possibly have consumed much more than one whole Whiffies pie. Don’t get me wrong, they are delicious; but, pace yourself.

The ranking: Coconut Crème was a delicious, thick, coconut pudding. In an effort towards conserving stomach space, I split the pie open and ate it like pudding with the occasional accompaniment of the super crispy edge of the crust: the best part, IMHO. Marionberry was the quintessential Portland pie. A little less sweet and less mushy than blueberry, this is probably THE fried pie to get; pure fruity pie goodness in your tummy. And, finally, the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip: a delicious, fried ode to my favorite combination. A little more puddingy than I anticipated: this was the pie I chose to eat in its entirety and would again.

Note: Although I was very stuffed, I did intend to try a crepe from the Perierra Creperie. Unfortunately, I didn't find their menu very vegan-friendly and the options that were veganizable weren’t floating my boat. After I decided to eat my weight in pies instead of trying a crepe I saw a couple go by. Instead of soft, rolled crepes I’m used to, these were giant, stiff crepes that were folded for consumption. Like I said, I didn’t taste one, but it didn’t seem like my cup of tea.

Getting to Portland/Vegan Travel

Almost as punishment, the east coast’s parting gift to us was such ludicrous traffic that we ultimately missed our 9:30am flight. The next flight wasn’t until 6:00pm and we weren’t risking leaving the premises in between. So, one vegan and one vegetarian spent the day in Newark International Airport.

Once we had everything under control it was time for drinks. We found the swankiest place we could find, Caliente Cab Co. Apparently a franchise, I'd been only to the tasty, albeit not so vegan friendly fast-food americanized mexican restaurant in NYC. In EWK it's much, much worse. First, our drinks were hideous, sweet messes of ice, sugar, and the cheapest alcohol in existence. I barely drink and I knew these $14 cups were filled with junk. But, after missing the flight, having to pan our first day's itinerary, and looking at eight more hours in the airport, they did the trick. Then, we were told that we could not have the "made to order" guacamole without cilantro because it was not made to order that day. Okaaay.

The shopping in the terminal was sad. There was a Lacoste store, but it was the size of my bathroom and had about 9 shirts for sale. Everything else caused us to remark, "You can get that at Loehmann's", so we quickly tired of expecting an EWK Marshall's, or something of that ilk.

Eventually we decided my poorly tolerant body needed some coffee to counter the effects of the "alcohol", so we dipped into a Starbucks. With all of my requests (soy, no whip, no foam, extra hot) and my lingering drunkedness, I neglected to request decaf. Between the sugar and the caffeine I'm surprised my heart didn't pop right out of my ribcage. To add insult to self-injury, would you believe that they are some kind of "non-branded" establishment that does not honor the "free soy milk with registered giftcard"? What is that about? It said Starbucks, it looked like Starbucks, and they served Starbucks. Give me my 30 cents back!

And finally it was time to board. Of course we ordered the vegetarian, non-dairy meal option months in advance (vegan is no longer an option). But, true to Continental form, when they got to us they shrugged and said, “We had four vegetarian meals and we’ve already handed them out”, simultaneously thrusting carnie garbage in our faces as though our food choices depend solely upon the whim of the free offerings. So, what exactly is the deal? It doesn’t matter what you order as long as you’re at the end of the plane that they start serving meals from and declare your vegetarian craving? I say you should have to prove it. Because once the stink of the microwaved turkey dogs started wafting through the cabin I’ll bet it was the first four passengers that suddenly claimed vegetarian-ness. Even the kid sitting next to me munching on a combination of Swedish Fish and bona-fide beef jerky couldn’t choke down the turkey dog. Really? Worse than beef jerky? Might be time to stop bragging about how you still serve complimentary “meals” at mealtime, Continental.

I Have Seen Portland and It Is Good

So, it’s about time this east coaster started discussing her trip to the “Vegan Mecca” that we think of when we think of Portland. I'll just backtrack a minute to note that when I went to San Francisco a few years ago I thought I was going to step off the plane into a crunchy granola hippie land of vegan cookies and tie dye. This was not the case. Sure, I happily got to the well-known: Millennium, Herbivore, and Maggie Mudd (heart) and enjoyed immensely, but I was not prepared to have to work so hard to find other, non-mainstream, vegan happiness. I thought it would find me with blinking neon lights blazing, "Welcome Vegans!" and thusly I missed out on many gems. So, I was heading to Portland, my second visit to the west coast, certain it would be what San Francisco was not: a total and complete VeganLand.

To that end, I prepared for my trip with months of research under my vegan belt; I wasn't going to miss a bite, I mean, a thing. I had daily itineraries mapped out and my only concern was what I was going to do in the pockets of free time between meals and snacks. I stopped shopping for just about everything months in advance because I figured it would be easier to do so in a veritable vegan city where there'd be nary an animal product to be found. I had such high expectations that I began to think of Portland as a city populated predominantly by vegans, and that veganity would be beckoning my attention at every turn, vegan police monitoring every move. I feared that in a different state my supercool sneakers wouldn't be recognized as the faux leather they were and that I would be undeservedly ostracized by the masses. I worried that my vegetarian traveling companion would conspicuously unwrap a non-vegan mint, causing us to be turned away at PDX. Then on the way to the hotel, our first friendly Radio Cab driver asked why we were visiting and I answered, “I'm vegan”. The man turned around in his seat and asked, “WHAT is THAT?” Oy vey; wrong again!

Ultimately, there are certainly vegan options galore in Portland (posts to follow), but also plenty of places where: not so much. Perhaps the options just seem abundant because it’s a smaller and more condensed city than NY? But, it's not totally VeganLand. Don't get me wrong, the vegan mini-mall is entirely worth the price of admission (so too is the vegan corn dog), but, like New York, you still have to know where to look; vegan happiness isn't brimming over everywhere you turn (I'm talking to you, leather accessory booth at the Saturday Market). Overall, I’m still trying to piece together my thoughts on the city; hopefully the posts that follow will do it for me.

I do want to note that every time we told someone in Portland that we were vacationing, they asked us why. Every time. Maybe inquisitiveness is just part of being a Portlander, along with a laissez-faire attitude and the habit of ambiguously answering pointed questions requiring a simple yes or no. Or could it have been an Oregonian attempt at making polite conversation? Perhaps they thought us interlopers on their territory? Or, conversely, think their own city unexotic? If that's the case I should point out that even New York does not have a vegan mini-mall or a shopping mall with an ice rink inside. Sigh.

Stay tuned.

Going Down to Portland; Gonna Have Myself a Time

Ok fellow East Coast vegans and veganistas, I am officially trekking to the Mecca of Portland in the coming weeks (no offense, NYC). I am preparing my list of must sees (i.e., eats) and dare not mention any concretely until my return, for fear that my stomach cannot handle what I am about to expect of it. Suggestions are welcome!