Match Meats Sausage: Too Matchy for Me

Match Meats generously donated a complimentary package of their meat analog to every attendee of Veggie Conquest IV; as a taster, that included me.  I'm not a big fan of faux meat, but since I attended with two almost complete eschewers I wound up with three packages in my freezer.

I decided to whip up some sausage and onion heroes.  I'm not sure what prompted this epiphany; I don't even remember what sausage tastes like and I don't think I ever ate such a hero.  But I do like sauteed onions, so there's that.

Match doesn't seem to present itself as a vegan company, so the wording all comes across as a little sci-fi to me.  Also, I am a sucker for a slick website and this is not one.  I suspect this may be because, as a vegan, I am not necessarily the company's target audience.  To be honest, if anything, the website almost scared me away entirely:

"MATCH® premium meat alternatives are the natural choice for meat lovers because they are made with a relentless commitment and passion to match the taste and texture of unprepared animal meat."

Once I ceased gagging I browsed the website for some preparation guidance.  I wasn't at all inspired or impressed by any of the recipes (note: they were not all vegan).  Further, the instructional videos made me groan.  So, I decided to wing it.

Understanding that actual sausage is nauseating on so many levels above and beyond what faux meat could ever be, Match Meats' version out of the package remains completely unappetizing.  It kind of slides out in a flat rectangle, but I took the liberty of breaking it up for your viewing pleasure.  Yes, I do believe this is what cat food looks like.

It comes seasoned, but the company suggests that you season it to taste.  There was no way I was tasting it raw, so I decided to just season it to sight.  I added olive oil, fennel, garlic, salt, telecherry pepper, parsley, and lots of crushed red pepper.  I was just guessing; I have no idea what's supposed to be in sausage!  But I did have the forethought to save an un-seasoned crumble and, after cooking and tasting both, my version was definitely an improvement (although could have been infinitely spicier).

Match suggests that you form the mixture into meatballs, but that's just strange.  I may be vegan, but I know that sausages are meant to be oblong.  Behold my vegan beauties (yes, I over-fenneled).  I would have liked them longer and thinner, but this was the best I could do without them falling apart.

I fried them up in some olive oil

until they were good and browned.  Despite the earlier delicacy, they held their shape very well while cooking.

Yep, still over-fenneled.

All in a row:

The finished product: some sausage, lots of Secret Aardvark, and even more sauteed onions.

Overall, the sandwich was good.  Would I just as much have enjoyed a sandwich full of sauteed onions and hot sauce?  Yes, I probably would have; I like veggies. 

Even though I have only minimal recollection of what meat tastes like, I think the problem I have with Match is that it's, well, too "meaty"; I don't even like Boca burgers.  That being said, I think this is a great product for someone who does like meat, but is considering a more compassionate, healthy, and eco-minded lifestyle.  I would definitely add this item to my list of things to serve unsuspecting omnis; I wholeheartedly believe it would be enjoyed undetected.  Not that I did that would do that.  Much.  Ok, that's where the rest of them went.

Most Versatile Blogger Award

photo credit: Just David

I am flattered that Ali from Yum Veggie Burger recently chose me as one of her picks for Most Versatile Blogger.  It's great knowing that people read my blog, let alone enjoy it!  I've never actually heard of the award, but it seems that once you've been crowned, your duties are to share seven things readers might not know about you and bestow the award upon five bloggers.  I've decided to shake things up by sharing five things readers might not know, and crowning seven deserving bloggers; see how I did that?

Here goes, Five Things Readers Might Not Know About Me:
(Courtesy of Just David, the theme of this list is, "What does Abby have a problem with now?")

1. I am not really a fan of fruit.  It started out as a joke because I really abhor fruit in dessert, but eventually I realized that closer to the truth might be that I'm really not a big fan in general.

2. When I first started drinking soy milk, I didn't realize that you were supposed to consume it within ten days of opening the carton.  Sometimes it would last me a month!  Even though it didn't hurt me, now when the ten day mark is impending I use it as an excuse to finish it off with some Kahlua. 

3. I don't like noise.  Loud venues make my head pound and repetetive noises (beeping, static) have the ability to drive me over the edge.  I don't listen to the radio, although infrequent exceptions are made for Soterious Johnson).

4. Judge Judy should be president.  Small but mighty, that lady knows what's up and she's not afraid to tell it like it is.  If that's an impossibility, perhaps the government can simply watch her show each day for pointers from a common sense pro.

5. I was captain of my high school cheerleading squad.  There, I said it.  And now you should forget it instantly!

Ok, talking about myself has been a tad uncomfortable so now let's get to the good stuff.

I hereby proclaim that I, Abby Bean, find these bloggers deserving of the Most Versatile Blogger Award (in no particular order).

1. Vegansaurus - CRACKS ME UP.  This band of bloggers does it all: has me laughing with their unmatched humor & wit, awwing over their cute animal pics, applauding their animal adoption efforts, and making me hungry with their food posts (etc., etc., etc.).  If you haven't read them yet, start!

2. If you're an activist, you should be as concerned with your own personal rights as well as those for whom you are advocating.  Enter Green is the New Red to keep you educated about who/what/where/when/why & how animal and environmental activism falls into the category of "eco-terrorism".  Will is a journalist and advocate who is an informational asset to activists everywhere.

3. My Face is on Fire is a well-written, though-out, informative blog that speaks unwaveringly about ending animal cruelty and exploitation.  Mylene panders to no one and with good reason; watering down a definitive term serves no purpose: veganism is a high, but necessary and attainable goal.

4. Her professional blog is mouth-watering, but her personal blog is thought-provoking.  We don't always see eye-to-eye, but aren't the most compelling friends like that?  Ok, I admit Lagusta and I have never met, but I appreciate her keeping my wheels turning with Resistance is Fertile.

5. Scouting NY never ceases to make me want to be where he is.  Whether in a dusty, forgotten building of unexpected grandeur or traveling cross-country (with the exception of where the giant tarantulas were); Scout never ceases to unintentionally remind me that his vacations and his job are better than mine.

6. Doris Lin's Animal Rights blog on About.com is such a fresh dose of reality that I just want to applaud each time I read her posts.  Armed with her innate BS detector she does not shy away from pointing out inconsistencies with the business practices of vegan-friendly corporations or taking people out of their comfort zone by sharing information they might not otherwise know.  She delivers the facts in a matter-of-fact, unapologetic manner that we can take a lesson from, as we can certainly do with a little less flowery language in our activism and a little more dry chutzpah. 

7. Finally, I'm going to boomerang right back to Yum Veggie Burger; it's so fun and although it's mainly about burgers, it's not "just about burgers".  Ali is a vegetarian, but is always looking out for vegans when she visits restaurants.  If not eating a vegan meal herself (which she often does), she never fails to post how vegan friendly her vegetarian meal is & I applaud her mightily for doing the work for me the effort and the respect.

Oh and that up there is just an obligatory picture of a recent Lula's ice cream cone: creamy, decadent butterscotch and super ridonkulous peanut butter chip, if you must know.