Sunday, October 25, 2009

Vegan Mini-Mall, Part I: Food Fight Vegan Grocery

Our non-vegan driven cab pulled up to the mini-mall and before I could even take it in he asked, “Is this where you’re going: F-o-o-d F-i-g-h-t?” Yes sir, YES I AM. After shopping online for so long I had finally arrived. Where to begin?!

We sashayed into Food Fight as if we are always waltzing into 100% vegan supermarkets; yeah right. I was actually surprised by how big it was since I keep reading that it’s “much tinier than you expect”. Come on vegans, are we that jaded? That spoiled? No, no we are not. I mean, we are spoiled in the respect that our offerings have come a long way, but last time I checked there wasn't exactly a vegan Foodtown on every other corner.

Not only is Food Fight of significant size, but considering that every single item is completely vegan: it’s monstrous. It actually took me a few minutes to get my bearings and stop scanning over things hoping to catch a familiar item or the word vegan. Holy crap, it all was! Once that was settled we grabbed a cart (yes, a full-sized wagon for all of those peeps proclaiming the stores’ diminutive size), and went to town. It’s hard enough choosing a meal from an all-vegan menu, but food shopping in an all vegan supermarket is mind-boggling and time-consuming and basically ridonkulous. No reading labels, no wondering if an ingredient is animal-derived...everything is for ME!

I won’t bore you (right now) with everything we bought since you can check it all out online, but I will tell you that there was a lot of cool stuff and the shelf labels are just as funny as the online quips. My favorite purchase was a Herbivore totebag that says “Don’t be a jerk; go vegan”, with a pig holding a thank you note. The funniest thing I did not buy was a small pin with a picture of eggs and bacon, reading: “choke on it”. Of course there was everything in between from the staples to haggis and caviar. And, I was surprised to find, in addition to refrigerated and frozen sections, they even have a fresh produce “department”; very cool. NY, you need to get on this.

One big disappointment, though, was the absence of the nacho cheese pump. Apparently Chad had visited the LES and regaled Blythe from Lula’s Sweet Apothecary with stories of the pump. When she found out we were visiting she urged me to try it and report back how it had changed my life; it was literally on our list of “things to do in Portland”. So, where was it? Chad says that the creators are the youngest kid from Home Improvement and his ex-wife, who thus far can’t settle the division of this supposedly incredible cheese product: Playfood. How selfish of them (I kid…a little). So sadly, no 7-11 style pumping for me.

We spent plenty of time in Food Fight: taking it all in, perusing the goods, and stockpiling for home (4 bottles of Secret Aardvark, thankyouverymuch). It was actually hard to leave; we had come from so far. I imagine it is what people feel like on their descent from Mt. Everest. Again, I kid…a little. I didn’t find Portland to be the total and complete vegan Mecca I had expected, but Food Fight is a definite must-visit for all vegans.

Stay tuned for Part II: Herbivore.

1 comment:

  1. FYI Food Fight moved over a year ago, the older location was a lot tinier and without produce.

    : )


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