Chickpeas Work, But Try a TEMPEH Salad Sandwich

Because most of my lunches consisted of American cheese & mayo sandwiches Inexplicably, tuna salad was a favorite as a kid, as was egg salad, although it was served far less frequently.  What do these things have in common?  Lots of celery (if done right).  I've purchased store-bought tofu salads of all kinds: tofu, "chicken", "egg"...but none of them have been filled sufficiently with the best part of the salad: the crunchy celery.  I've always meant to make a chickpea version but, although I've amassed quite a few recipes (mashed, whole, etc.), I've never actually done so.  Then, with a brand new jar of Vegannaise in the fridge, I recalled a recipe from a Natural Kitchen Cooking School class that used tempeh instead of chickpeas: tempeh "tuna" salad.  Guess who happened to have a coupon for Lightlife?

open-faced sandwiches are for suckers;
this was uncovered for photo only!

If you want to make a sandwich JUST LIKE MINE (who wouldn't?), do the following:

• omit the celery seed (you don't have it)
• use 2 tbsp of sweet relish in place of the dill pickles (cuz it's already chopped)
• quadruple the chopped celery
• substitute sweet white miso (because that's all you have)
• Inexplicably ignore the directions to grate the tempeh first, and instead cook it in chunks-- only to have to wait for it to cool in order to smush it with a fork. (you're a dope)

Then garnish it with parsley because you have it leftover from another recipe to make your photo look super swanky because you're fancy like that and enjoy.