Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Svelte Sustained Protein Energy Drinks

After seeing Calnatural's sleek looking Svelte drinks at Lifethyme recently, I realized that I'd never posted my review of the assorted, four-pack sampler I'd won from Bohemian Vegan.  I'd been anxious to receive them- not at all so much because I require "sustained energy" for my "active and busy day" (I'm not, it's not), but because they reminded my of a cross between mini soy milkboxes and those non-vegan, Starbucks' to-go Frappuccinos that I never liked, but whose packaging I always find appealing.  Shallow, but true.

Unfortunately, the flavor I had been most looking forward to trying, the enjoy your self. cappuccino, was rendered undrinkable by the fact that for some reason, although the actual, sturdy spout was uncompromised, the entire seal had for some reason come away from the box in transit.  Bummer.

So, I started my taste-test with the just your style. spiced chai.  Not sure how I feel about the self-affirming flavor titles, but the marketing did appeal to me on some level, so who am I to judge?  No, wait; that's what I'm doing.  Never mind.

The boxes are aseptic and surprisingly large.  Refrigerated overnight, the density of the liquid is not thick enough to be a shake, not nearly as thin as soy milk; it most closely mimicked the consistency of eggnog (shudder).  And did I detect a hint of grit?  Hmm.

I consider myself a bit of a chai aficianado- preferring sweet chais to spicy.  This taste was a spice blend (listed simply as "organic spices" in the ingredient list) that I didn't automatically recognize as chai, and was lightly sweet in a most non-cloying way.  I wasn't initially sure I liked it, but the more I drank it the more it grew on me.  It only took half of it as lunch in the middle of my sedentary day to fill me up.  Minutes after finishing it, though, it had left a thick, milky aftertaste that required a big drink of water to flush; I was on the fence. 

In order to maximize the possibility of being won over, next I tried the hello beautiful. chocolate flavor.  I like all things chocolate- soymilk and soyshakes being no exception.  So, I decided to approach this flavor as dessert.  Although a co-worker told me it looked like I was drinking mud, it actually had the same consistency as the chai- without any grit whatsoever.  Not overly chocolatey, it was still nice.

Finally, the looking good. french vanilla.  Even though I'm not a vanilla person at heart, I can especially appreciate a French vanilla.  Unfortunately, this was not a vanilla I could especially appreciate.  The consistency, coupled with the seemingly artificial vanilla flavor, was what I would expect of buttermilk.  When even a fancy glass can't make it go down any easier, you know you're in trouble.

Perhaps these drinks are not intended for me.  After all, they are marketed to people with active and busy days; perhaps if I were busier and more active I would have been more likely to have enjoyed them.  If you're a fan, feel free to let me know what I'm missing.  Until then, these won't be on my shopping list.


  1. At least the packaging was nice.

  2. I'm really loving everyone's compassionate sense of humor!

  3. Not liking the vain gimmicky components of the marketing: use of the word "svelte", flavors like "looking good", etc.

    Definitely not the kind of product I would buy if I saw it at the stores but then again, marketing is my field of work so I am a bit more critical than the next person.


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