Friday, October 14, 2011

Vegan MoFo Day 14: #$@%! Green Juice

I lied.  I didn't unfriend Lula's.  I never intended to unfriend Lula's.  In fact, it gives me no small level of comfort to be reminded that Lula's continues to serve the incredible flavors I've enjoyed in the past and will continue to enjoy in the future- even though I'm not doing so right now. 

This is a list of flavors that Lula's posted the other day:
Pumpkin, Rosewater Pistachio, Vanilla, Mint Chip, Chocolate, Cookies 'n Cream, Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookie, Banana, Maple Walnut, Strawberry, Coffee

Let that settle into your consciousness for a minute.

Now consider that this is what I drank for breakfast.

Do you notice any incongruity?
Yesterday morning I had the best of intentions with my green juice.  I purposefully omitted the cucumber because I thought that might be what was upsetting my stomach.  I prepared celery, green apple, and, per CSD's recommendation, "sweet" broccoli stems- hoping for the best. 

At some point during the morning's juicing episode I thought the juicer was broken.  I became a bit frantic because that would have meant I had dirtied the machine and not even gotten any juice out of it.  Worse yet, I'd just gotten it for goodness sake; broken already?  It took me a moment to realize... that I wasn't disappointed. 

When I figured out what was wrong and confirmed that it was, in fact, intact and in perfect working order, I began to wish that it wasn't.

During the juicing process, I somehow managed to splatter on my shirt again, much as I'd done previously with my smoothie. I didn't notice the green juice on my pants, however, until about 1pm.

As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was transferring the countless parts of the juicer to the sink for washing, I somehow managed to drip green juice on my toe.  Green juice on my toe.  Not appropriate.  I do believe that somewhere between that incident and my third, grossly un-enjoyable sip was when I officially acknowledged the end to this green juice charade.  I know that CSD says juicing is the quickest way to ingest nutrients, but I'd rather eat any of the greens that I've been trying to juice than drink them; I'll take my chances with the nutrients.

last minute to-go breakfast
For lunch there was- yep, more kale salad.  It might be boring to read, but it's good no matter what.

Dinner brought leftover lentil walnut pate that I'd been thinking about ever since I first made it.  This time, served with carrots in lettuce boats.

I also had a small scoop of these grains with a little Bragg's.  Random, but I was tired, hungry, and in cleaning out the fridge mode.

And now, I will amuse myself with all kinds of possible fates that could accidentally befall my juicer.


  1. Lula's Sweet Apoth.October 14, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    As I mentioned yesterday, you are currently on the "banned customer" list from Lula's. It, as of yet, remains undecided if we will simply allow you to return in another 2 weeks!

  2. You are playing with fire, Anonymous. And Lula's is going to bring suit against you for impersonating an apothecary.

  3. Abby,

    I recommend this: when you juice.

  4. Thanks for saying what many of us think: green juices become mundane when consumed on a daily basis...

    I am fine with greens as one of the ingredients in a juice, but when it's all green veg, I just can't drink it in repetition (for me, this is more than a few days).

    Your banana cinnamon almond milk smoothies sound like a much more palatable solution.


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